a rather philosophical work update

March 10, 2011

I’ve been struggling to figure out my job here. I’m based at the PEO office, as explained in previous posts. I have a list of stuff to accomplish there in 2011. Half of the things are small though, and could be accomplished within a month if I really cracked down. In fact, much of it was already finished and waiting to be printed when my computer “died,” so really I just had to wait for my computer to come back from Vila. (It mysteriously started working again and was sent back to me after two weeks).

The school has also asked for help though – both the primary and the secondary school, which share one name but are really two separate entities (they’re split even further by language, but obviously I’m doing more in the English half than the French half). Plus, as I discovered in my first couple of months here, I do not work well in an office. Being there all day every day REALLY wears on me. So even though I’m technically based at the office and not at the school, I find myself doing mostly school related things. HOPEFULLY that’s not going to make anyone mad, and hopefully I’m not crossing any invisible lines or making them think that I’m shirking my duties in some way. Really I’m just inventing my job. I’m the first volunteer to be based at the Torba PEO… I can do that (the previous PCVs and JOCVs have been at the school).

Right now (as of March) I go to the primary school for the first two hours of the morning, which is their designated Language time. I started in the 5/6 grade room because that’s the teacher I know the best, but I get the feeling she has the least need for me. Still, it’s been fun doing read alouds for her, plus the kids pay a lot more attention when it’s my funny accent they get to listen to! There are 21 kids in that class, ages 9 to 15 (welcome to Vanuatu). I’ve also spent some time in the 3/4 grade class (36 kids, ages 8 to 13), and eventually I’ll move on to 1/2. I’ve basically just been observing and writing notes. I feel like I’m not doing anything, but then I remind myself that this is the same thing I did at the beginning of student teaching at OLM in Rio. I think I spent the first full two weeks just sitting in the back and watching. It feels very unproductive and I get impatient but this is only month number five of 24, and it’s still the first term of school. I have time to be productive. I think eventually the goal is that the teachers just know that I’m there every morning as a resource and they can claim me any time they need help with a lesson, whether it’s model teaching, guided reading, or just a simple read aloud. The 3/4 and 5/6 teachers have each already done that once (for me to teach a phonics lesson and do a read aloud, respectively). I also filled in for the 3/4 teacher on a day that she didn’t show up… I’m hoping that doesn’t become a regular occurrence.

Actually the 5/6 grade teacher came up with a really great idea last week:  she’s started concentrating more on Writing, since the MoE did a literacy workshop here a few weeks ago. Her class has been writing “personal recounts” and she wants to create a book with them. Once they’re finished, I’m going to help the kids edit them, then I’m going to bring them to the office and type them up for them and we’re going to make a book!

The other job I’m looking forward to at the primary school is fixing up the library with the 5/6 grade teacher. I had a plan to then write a Create and Run Your Own School Library training based either here or at Kerry’s library on Mota Lava. I just found out though that they’ve already planned something just like this for Mota in April… I feel a little snubbed. Anyway, the Ministry of Ed just sunk over a million vatu ($10,000+) into books and is sending two full boxes to every school in the country. Unfortunately, most of the schools in Torba don’t have libraries. SO, one of my jobs at the office for 2011 is helping with project proposals for funding library buildings, then running trainings (so I need to find out what’s going on with this one they’ve left me out of).

Then after all of this there’s the secondary school. I just started talking to the English teacher about how she wants me to help her. She teaches English for all 4 secondary grades, plus she’s in charge of the secondary school library (separate from the primary), plus she is the “academic principal,” PLUS, she makes things even harder for herself by being extremely involved in the church and apparently traveling to New Zealand frequently (though that may have just been a rumor). Originally, she wanted me to totally take over Year 9 English. I feel like I HAVE to refuse that one.

First of all, that’s not what I’m here for. Other non-Ni-Vanuatu have told me that that’s a snotty attitude to have and that I should suck it up and do it for her anyway if that’s what she wants. But I disagree and I’m going to try to stick to it. My job is Primary Teacher Trainer. I’m supposed to be doing starting sustainable projects that contribute toward training teachers, not teaching their classes. If I’m going to teach a class, it’ll be model teaching every once in a while, and that teacher will be in the classroom helping or watching. Secondly, to get technical (and possibly actually snotty), again I’m a Primary Teacher Trainer, not Secondary. I’m helping out at Secondary only because the need is there and I have time in my schedule. I do not, however, have time to completely take a class off her hands and still spend two hours a day at primary school and get things done at the office.

What I am willing to do is either take the library off her hands and try to revamp the system there (it’s decent, but not being used to its full potential) OR help with her classes by model or team teaching once in a while or doing extra or intervention projects with selected students. NOT by taking a class off her hands. I started prying a little by using Jephline and Dorina, my Year 10 host sisters. Jephline says they don’t go to the library enough and they don’t write enough. She says they focus too much on talking (well, they are TEFL students). Dorina says I should just teach their class. Ha.

Explaining all of the above to people just makes me sound lazy though. The guilt involved in this job is amazing to me sometimes. I don’t know if it’s a regular PCV thing or if it’s just me. I just feel like they expect me to be doing all this stuff for them, and they must be disappointed that I go to school to sit in the back corner of the classroom, then have no product to show from all my work in the office (mostly because my computer was “dead,” but also because it took me so long to get on my feet there too). I start out overwhelmed when I look over all of my options, and then I end up doing very little because I was so overwhelmed by it all at the beginning.

Also apparently this English teacher runs into the same problems year after year, and I kind of feel like if she can’t do it all, she needs to cut something out of her schedule from the beginning, not wait till it’s too much and then push it off onto the first person who comes along to help.

At the risk of sounding like an angry toddler, please refrain from leaving comments that start with, “Can’t you just… [insert fantastic idea here]” because:

(a.)  if you’re another PCV or VSO, I’m sick of hearing it from yufala. Your site is different than mine, your personality is different than mine, and I’m probably not willing to do whatever it is you’ll have me do on the grounds that (1) it will offend someone here, or (2) I’m not enough of a stronghed for it; or

(b.)  if you’re an American sitting at home reading this, remember that the cultural context is totally different here and the solution is not as simple as it would be in American culture.

So no, I can’t just [fantastic idea of yours].

I think part of the reason working in an office is so hard for me is because I don’t really know how office work works, if that makes any sense. I have a teaching degree and I’ve never held a job that didn’t involve actively interacting with children. The closest I’ve ever come to an office job is my 5^th summer of camp, and camp is in a whole other league of work (plus that was less of an office job and more of a drive-around-on-the-gator-and-make-sure-brownies-don’t-kill-each-other job).

I don’t know how to write a project proposal. I don’t know how to write a training package (though I’m finding that easy enough to invent). I don’t know how to do a budget for a program or a meeting (which will be much less easy to fake when the need arises). I don’t know how to “report on the progress of my activities” – and as fake-able as that sounds, Ni-Vanuatu are very particular about details and formalities. Are these things that Peace Corps should be including in training? Or was I supposed to already know these things when I got here? Or am I really expected to just make it up as I go and try not to look too stupid in the process (which is what I’m currently doing).

I realize that the most correct answer to all of this is “ask,” but I’m still struggling to figure out who to ask and what questions to ask so that (a) they understand what I’m asking, and (b) I don’t look like a total idiot and therefore lose their trust/respect. I experienced enough of that my first month or so and I’ve been trying to clean up my image and make it look like I kind of know what’s up and it wasn’t a total waste of their time last year to apply for a PCV.

When I left home I still wasn’t sure what my career path was. But six months in, I think I can safely say “I’m going to be a teacher when I grow up.” I don’t think any of this other crap is quite my cup of tea. (Although let me know if technology fails, the economy shoots up, and school librarian becomes an option again).