ya had to be there.

You know how sometimes you’re telling a story of something amazing/hilarious/ridiculous that happened, and when you’re finished, everyone just kind of looks at you like you’re an idiot? Awkward, right? And then you mumble something like, “you had to be there,” because if your audience shared your point of view, it really would be a great story. From their standpoint though, it’s impossible to “get.”

I know you’re all dying for an example now. The following is a true story. Ni-Vans would find it hilarious: “ah-weeeehhh!!” Vanuatu PCVs will probably find it at least entertaining: “laef blong yumi nao!” You’re going to be like, “yeah, so?” or more possibly, “I don’t get it.”

So the other day some of my neighbors went up into the bush to collect firewood. Their entire household decided to go, so Unity brought the baby to Denise’s house (behind mine) and gave him to a little group of teenage girls who were hanging out wasting time. She told them, “We’re going up to the garden. If the baby starts to cry, go to the kindy and bang the tamtam and I’ll know to come back.”

Twenty minutes pass. The teenagers have taken turns going gaga over baby Hobert, combing his hair, playing with his toes, making faces at him, and he finally starts to cry. He cries cry cry go gooooo (come on, I had to make this like a real custom story) alé the girls decide to go hit the tamtam like Unity told them.

Samna, age 15, runs over to the kindy and starts looking around. She can’t find the tamtam anywhere. She hits a stick on the fence. It barely makes a sound. Then she notices that the water-exploration-table/canoe is upside down, so she decides to bang on it instead. It’s louder, but still not nearly as loud as the tamtam. Neighbors are coming out of their houses, laughing their heads off, and shouting, “Find the tamtam!” She can’t find it.

Finally, and old man somehow related to Unity appears out of nowhere and shows Sanma where the tamtam is. He knows where it is because he frequently sleeps in the kindy. (Unity’s the kindy teacher. To clarify.) Sanma bangs on the tamtam and about five minutes later Unity and Smith and the other kids appear with loads of firewood laughing as neighbors tell them what has just passed.

Where am I in all of this? Watching it all from my front doorstep where I am sitting with my next-door neighbor, spoon-feeding custom medicine to my cat, who has eaten poison fish. Naturally.

There are two ways we can conclude this story:
1. Only in Vanuatu; or quite simply,
2. You had to be there.