The Dip of the Roller Coaster

… It happens. I know most of you want to be like, “how can you be depressed when you live on a tropical island and drink coconuts for breakfast?”

The isolation gets to you. The state of the education system gets to you. (The state of the health system gets to health volunteers, respectively). Work culture gets to you. There are so many things that can just get to you that eventually you just crash.

Mid-service training was pretty decent, then I stayed an extra week to get stuff done in Vila. “Getting stuff done” means any and all of the following (in no particular order):

- using the [slow] internet (for back-home social life maintenance, and for work and research).
- using a free printer and other resources.
- catching up with other volunteers.
- having a mid-service medical check-up and dental exam (at this time of year).
- buying, writing, and sending cards and postcards.
- sending packages.
- investigating $ resources, printing grant applications.
- buying materials for your site.
- running errands for your neighbors and friends back on the island.
- eating good food, drinking cold pop/beer, eating ice cream.
- going to bars/clubs (and dressing like a normal human).
- avoiding cruise shippers.
- buying packaged food to take back to site (my box is currently 9kg).
- stocking up on toiletries and other things you can’t get on the island.
- using good phone service (especially for PCVs that have zero at site).
- fending off creepy guys (you laugh… but I’m serious).

I had about three days to do a week’s worth of “getting stuff done,” and I crashed. Somehow, I managed to get almost all of it done before I needed to leave. Unfortunately, the result was burning myself out and being completely not ready to go back to the island. I ended up exhausted and walking around in a daze, and as soon as I opened my mouth to speak, I’d start to cry. Then I got followed across town by a creepy guy (I told you I was serious). I’ve been in a horrible mood, August was really difficult (see previous post), I’m homesick, I don’t have any plans for Christmas/NYE, and I don’t get another PC-paid trip to Vila until February. Enter freak-out mode.

Our PC nurse helped convince me to extend my stay in Vila by just a little bit to have some “me” time. Unfortunately, the “little bit” will be a whole week because Monday’s flight is full. I don’t want to stay a whole extra week… but it’s better than heading back to no-man’s land tomorrow. She also told me where I can get a $25, one hour massage. This weekend will be totally devoted to my mental health, and I actually can do quite a bit of work from here in the air conditioned office next week.

Why am I telling you this? Just because I think I should write the truth sometimes. I know I’m good at throwing humor into these posts… and I think that’s the way I deal with the crap sometimes. My life really isn’t as awesome and entertaining as I make it sound (although at times it is really awesome).

I hope I didn’t just lose your readership. I promise I’ll try to write another entertaining post before I leave town next week.